There is no permanent love between spouses!
Love is a product.
Every product has a life:
A new jewelry, a pair of new shoes, a new car,
And even the 'love' between newly wedded spouses.
In the beginning, there is unconditional love between spouses.
With the passage of time, the spouses are more intimate.
There are expectations from each other.
Each spouse expects the other spouse to think, alike.
If expectations are not fulfilled, there is resentment.
In worst scenario, the spouses sulk throughout their lives and suffer loneliness, even when they stay together.
In the best scenario, the spouses love each other, respect each other, in spite of different opinions on daily problems.
But a typical couple, continues to do the family duties, mechanically,
And the spouses miss the true potential of sweetness in married life.
Remedial ideas
*The spouses have to learn to respect:
The other spouse's privacy, and right to autonomy in thinking and lifestyle.
*Life would be a big bore, if spouses are a clone of each other.
*A bout of heated discussions, between honest spouses always ends, amicably.
They pamper each other with romantic apologies, followed by the usual cuddling and hugging in a cosy ambience.
A lonely life with spouse
'Love' in married life must outlive the biological life of both spouses.
Or they would experience loneliness, even in the company of each other.
A feeling of togetherness in old age
In old age, the couples need love and hugging.
Only then, they enjoy the warmth of sweet memories of decades of togetherness.
We need God's blessings to enjoy the warmth of 'love', with the spouse, in old age.
Defining love
'I love you enough, to let you be happy in your own way.'
(Princess September - Somerset Maugham)
Let's learn to let the spouse live and be happy in own way.
There will be differences of opinions between spouses.
There will be ego clashes.
Life appears sometimes as an incorrigible liability.
But if we are not selfish, and a non-believer in 'I am always right',
Married life remains a good long-term investment.
Love and mutual respect
*Love precedes and respect follows.
Or respect for a friend precedes and love follows.
*Conditional love - possessive love - demands complete surrender.
A spouse, who surrenders is either a spineless character or a cunning manipulator.
*True love is between two honest, sincere, and selfless persons.
As spouses, they are an integrated team to look after the family affairs and children.
How love degenerates to hatred!
*Love precedes and respect follows.
Excessive familiarity exposes weaknesses in the character of each spouse.
It degenerates mutual respect.
Lack of respect often leads to lack of love.
Lack of love leads to disliking the spouse.
Finally disliking the spouse leads to hatred.
Path from love to hatred is over-crowded.
Its destination, divorce!
From hatred to love!
But, to get back from hatred to good old honeymoon days of love and warmth is a formidable task - nearly impossible to do.
The negative emotions experienced in the past, linger on.
It is not easy to forget and forgive.
This needs determination and a strong will to sort out the misunderstandings.
People give up.
Divorce is the easy route, humanity follows.
But it doesn't solve the issue, it sidelines the problem.
The bitter memories continue and may come up again.
Yes, it is a tough going, to obliterate painful memories, when a spouse got hurt.
But only a strong character can forgive and forget.
We can do it, if we have the will.
Remember the warmth, the old sweet memories, and pray to God for His blessings.
God helps those, who helps themselves.
Love is a product.
Every product has a life:
A new jewelry, a pair of new shoes, a new car,
And even the 'love' between newly wedded spouses.
In the beginning, there is unconditional love between spouses.
With the passage of time, the spouses are more intimate.
There are expectations from each other.
Each spouse expects the other spouse to think, alike.
If expectations are not fulfilled, there is resentment.
In worst scenario, the spouses sulk throughout their lives and suffer loneliness, even when they stay together.
In the best scenario, the spouses love each other, respect each other, in spite of different opinions on daily problems.
But a typical couple, continues to do the family duties, mechanically,
And the spouses miss the true potential of sweetness in married life.
Remedial ideas
*The spouses have to learn to respect:
The other spouse's privacy, and right to autonomy in thinking and lifestyle.
*Life would be a big bore, if spouses are a clone of each other.
*A bout of heated discussions, between honest spouses always ends, amicably.
They pamper each other with romantic apologies, followed by the usual cuddling and hugging in a cosy ambience.
A lonely life with spouse
'Love' in married life must outlive the biological life of both spouses.
Or they would experience loneliness, even in the company of each other.
A feeling of togetherness in old age
In old age, the couples need love and hugging.
Only then, they enjoy the warmth of sweet memories of decades of togetherness.
We need God's blessings to enjoy the warmth of 'love', with the spouse, in old age.
Defining love
'I love you enough, to let you be happy in your own way.'
(Princess September - Somerset Maugham)
Let's learn to let the spouse live and be happy in own way.
There will be differences of opinions between spouses.
There will be ego clashes.
Life appears sometimes as an incorrigible liability.
But if we are not selfish, and a non-believer in 'I am always right',
Married life remains a good long-term investment.
Love and mutual respect
*Love precedes and respect follows.
Or respect for a friend precedes and love follows.
*Conditional love - possessive love - demands complete surrender.
A spouse, who surrenders is either a spineless character or a cunning manipulator.
*True love is between two honest, sincere, and selfless persons.
As spouses, they are an integrated team to look after the family affairs and children.
How love degenerates to hatred!
*Love precedes and respect follows.
Excessive familiarity exposes weaknesses in the character of each spouse.
It degenerates mutual respect.
Lack of respect often leads to lack of love.
Lack of love leads to disliking the spouse.
Finally disliking the spouse leads to hatred.
Path from love to hatred is over-crowded.
Its destination, divorce!
From hatred to love!
But, to get back from hatred to good old honeymoon days of love and warmth is a formidable task - nearly impossible to do.
The negative emotions experienced in the past, linger on.
It is not easy to forget and forgive.
This needs determination and a strong will to sort out the misunderstandings.
People give up.
Divorce is the easy route, humanity follows.
But it doesn't solve the issue, it sidelines the problem.
The bitter memories continue and may come up again.
Yes, it is a tough going, to obliterate painful memories, when a spouse got hurt.
But only a strong character can forgive and forget.
We can do it, if we have the will.
Remember the warmth, the old sweet memories, and pray to God for His blessings.
God helps those, who helps themselves.
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